tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-279992152011-04-21T20:30:25.185-04:00A web log for professional scribes and those who want to beBob Lorynoreply@blogger.comBlogger891100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-62782103713277002572008-04-06T14:43:00.002-04:002008-04-06T14:47:24.586-04:00

Whoever donated this particular book to the public library was one of those folks who feel they have to scribble their (important, they believe) thoughts in the book's margins.Confronted with the subhead Whom is the duck working for? our scribbler felt the need to change it to For whom is the duck working?--adding the comment, "Your grammar sucks."I tell my students that it's great to know the

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-29802640635910643682008-04-01T16:42:00.002-04:002008-04-01T16:46:07.847-04:00

If you think blather-speak just turned up yesterday, read the following.***I am going to translate a passage of good English into modern English of the worst sort. Here is a well-known verse from Ecclesiastes:"I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-83412397367483550982008-01-18T15:47:00.000-05:002008-01-18T15:53:17.803-05:00

When talking about the editing process, there's probably something I should have emphasized but didn't: Check all the numbers in your piece of writing--and do it with care.What brought up this thought was yesterday's Wall Street Journal. All of my students and most readers of this blog know WSJ is one of my two favorite newspapers (the other is Investor's Business Daily). The writing is superb,

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-24448371171463233872007-11-15T17:23:00.000-05:002007-11-15T17:26:30.664-05:00

Stephen King, in his book On Writing, recalls an early editor's definition of a second draft: "Draft 2=Draft 1 minus 10 percent."Most of us, when we think about editing, equate it with cutting--but that's not always the case. Consider the following:1. In editing your piece of writing, you find you've left out something important. You add rather than subtract.2. You contract to write a book of a

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-36513335532885620802007-11-06T18:08:00.000-05:002007-11-06T18:14:13.379-05:00

"Aha!" you say, after having read my last few posts on editing. "Look at all the adjectives you've used in these very pieces of writing that advise against them. Gotcha!""Aha!" I say in response. I've looked at every one of them--as well as the few adverbs your sharp eye no doubt has caught--and made a conscious (here's one example) judgment about their value in communicating my message.I admit

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-26986214338361312722007-10-18T10:39:00.000-04:002007-11-06T18:16:05.668-05:00

The third phase of editing demands you turn on all your word processor's spelling, grammar and readability aids and run them. Keep in mind:o Your spell checker won't alert you to errors of word choice (e.g., "their" for "there").o Your grammar checker can come up with suggestions that can, with charity, be called bone-headed. In some cases, it will find passive voices where you have none, often

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-60860738271984653432007-10-06T18:39:00.000-04:002007-11-06T18:17:12.158-05:00

Editing--Phase One dealt with the raw content of your piece, an important aspect of which is getting rid of the fat. Phase Two deals with toning the muscle that's left. Here's where you--o Look at your lead and your headline. Do they do their job--namely, grab the reader and push him deeper into your story? If not, can you reword them to do so? Or do you need replace them with something

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-87518242373933551162007-09-25T17:42:00.000-04:002007-11-06T18:17:56.759-05:00

Okay, courtesy of your free-flowing right brain, you have your first draft. Now’s the time to turn on the left brain. Now’s the time to gather all your notes and dive into the first phase of editing. Now is when you:Correct corporate, division and personal names, job titles, numbers and other factual data,Correct errors of spelling and grammar,Change any passive voice passages to the active,Get

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-91605301633445772712007-09-11T18:38:00.000-04:002007-11-06T18:18:50.489-05:00

When I said, in my last post, shut off the computer bells and whistles as you type your first draft, I spoke from experience I wish I didn't have. That's because my first computer almost ended my writing life.Background:While my day-job writing for several years was done on an IBM Selectric, I used Royal and Underwood manuals to write 40 novels and more than 50 short stories. When these machines

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-88625653745858718302007-08-29T11:34:00.000-04:002007-08-29T11:37:39.858-04:00

This is the "real" writing phase. The trick is, as Nike used to say, to "just do it." Put your fingers on the keyboard and let the words flow from brain to keys as fast as you can handle them. Type. Don't worry about typos, misspelled names, exact job titles, grammar, a second-thought "better" way to say what you've said--don't worry about anything but keeping the flow moving.The last thing you

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-48168604392715624422007-08-10T13:52:00.000-04:002007-08-10T13:54:16.524-04:00

In my last post I said, "If you're writing about a new type of plastic bag or the Battle of Saratoga, there's no need for you to research advances in containerization from Ancient Sumer to the present or the political, social and economic background of the Revolutionary War."Comment from one reader: Aren't those examples rather extreme?Answer:Yes, for most short projects. But they're very

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-33332146354140747122007-08-03T13:49:00.000-04:002007-08-03T13:53:22.722-04:00

It's research. And it's here that many writers commit either of two errors:They do too much research, orThey don't do enough.You, of course, want to do it "just right," thereby earning the Goldilocks Seal of Approval. And you will, if you focus on the range of your project. By range, I mean:o Length. The number of words you can include limits the amount of research you can use.o Time until

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-13315699360336160392007-07-14T16:44:00.000-04:002007-07-14T16:46:43.482-04:00

There are several steps to creating a finished piece of writing. We'll talk about them in sequential order over the next few posts.Good writing starts by not writing. Take your fingers off the keyboard. It's too early to be pushing keys. You're not ready. You've other things to do first.Think about your project a little. Think about what you know and what you don't, including:Why you're doing it-

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-54601237607503955962007-07-09T13:28:00.000-04:002007-07-09T13:30:04.024-04:00

It's been a while since my last posting, reasons for which include:o Landscaping a new homeo Selling two old homeso Helping my spouse rehab from a hip replacemento Working to complete a new communication planning course, ando Trying to train a new Shih Tzu puppy in the proper locations for certain natural body functions.Well, the landscaping is complete, one of the two older homes has been sold,

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-4184003384287914652007-05-23T16:14:00.000-04:002007-05-23T16:18:17.819-04:00

Some time ago in a karate class, our instructor told us, "Practice makes perfect." We've probably all heard that adage and, at one time or another, used it.This time, however, the instructor was "corrected" by another, more senior member of our dojo."No," he said, "perfect practice makes perfect." Whether or not he knew he was quoting football-coaching great Vince Lombardi I don't know.I do know

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-72390655132498848622007-04-24T11:04:00.000-04:002007-04-24T11:06:58.748-04:00

This, from one of the best writers of English, Theodore Geisel (better known as Dr. Seuss):It has often been saidthere's so much to be readyou never can cram all those thoughts in your head.So the writer who breedsmore words than he needsis making a chore for the reader who reads.That's why my belief isthe briefer the brief isthe greater the sigh of the reader's relief is.You can find this and

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-27018754998483270972007-04-12T16:28:00.000-04:002007-04-12T16:30:10.099-04:00

Since we've been talking about correct grammar and common usage in the last couple of posts, I thought it timely to post this timeless list of word-wizard William Safire's rules on "How To Write Good":Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.No sentence fragments.It behoves us to avoid archaisms.Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.Don't use no double negatives.If I've told you once,

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-16480095135515654642007-03-27T14:03:00.000-04:002007-03-27T14:10:13.265-04:00

Forth Worth, Texas-based Communication Guru Jim Pitts, comments on my last post:Right-on, Bob. BUT (big but) if you're going to write, that is, be a writer, you must know, you must understand, why the correct form is "It's I," not "It's me." For I say unto thee, grammar is to writing what math is to science. If you don't know math, you'll do bad science. If you don't know grammar, you won't write

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-5012075945165111792007-03-20T15:12:00.000-04:002007-03-20T15:17:58.104-04:00

A common telephone exchange:"Hello.""Hi. It's me."Sound the alarm. A grammatical crime has been committed. Maybe even one of the Ten Commandments has been broken. But answer me this:Who, under sunny or cloudy skies, would reply, "It's I." You? Me? I can't speak for you, but I hope I know your answer.Those who would insist on the grammatically correct "I" are the same folks who insist we not write

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-2513258263531592732007-03-14T11:32:00.000-04:002007-03-14T11:33:07.743-04:00

Two quotes:"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner about Ernest Hemingway"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" -- Ernest Hemingway about William FaulknerThe interesting thing about this exchange is that Faulkner's intended slam is, in reality, a compliment. Any writer should be pleased to receive

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-87842398979942787802007-03-07T14:34:00.000-05:002007-03-07T14:37:12.581-05:00

It's, they're, we're, we'll, don't, doesn't, can't--et cetera.They're contractions, and your print and Web writing should be full of them. If you're not using them regularly, you may be sharing a fallacy with one of my recent students.Although she holds a master's degree in communication from a U.S. university, English is not her native language. She learned our tongue from British teachers.

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-53197309207526398732007-02-28T16:08:00.000-05:002007-02-28T16:09:53.788-05:00

Picking up from the previous post, this drill is easier than most. Look at articles in your favorite newspapers and magazines and see how many of their headlines and leads you can change to a "you" emphasis.There should be very few stories that don't allow you to do this--and very few that "you" doesn't improve.Email relory@aol.com.[writing][communication] [editing] [communication training]

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-45250162324416836372007-02-21T14:40:00.000-05:002007-02-21T14:43:15.853-05:00

Nouns and verbs were the subjects of my last two posts. Using them as your main writing tools will go far in helping you deliver copy that's clear, direct and interesting.Writing in pronouns will give you an additional boost. One pronoun in particular:You.Used in headlines and/or lead paragraphs and/or throughout an entire article, you will keep your reader focused on what is most important to

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-48699327136129298892007-02-16T12:25:00.000-05:002007-02-16T12:30:34.758-05:00

I tend to think about writer's block as having two forms. The first is when you have no idea what to write about. The second is when you know your subject matter but can't find a way to begin. Both can have you facing a blank word processor screen for a long, long time.Web-search writer's block and you'll find a wealth of tips on how to deal with it, including:Do some deep breathing.Meditate.Do

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-37601389706531613872007-02-07T17:19:00.000-05:002007-02-07T17:24:50.155-05:00

My post of August 3 began with this quote from Strunk and White (The Elements of Style):"Write with nouns and verbs, not with adjectives and adverbs."Back then, the focus was the strength and clarity that nouns and verbs provide. Today's focus is killing boredom.If you've spentt some time writing for the same company or client, certain types of your stories may begin to sound alike. New-product

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-6903785067431145192007-01-31T11:47:00.000-05:002007-01-31T11:49:58.433-05:00

You.You're the sixth variable.Think about it. Are you the same person Monday morning as you are Friday afternoon? On a rainy day versus a sunny one? Aren't you changed just a bit by an argument with a colleague or loved one? Or by this morning's notice that the company will be laying off ten percent of your office's headcount?Don't you think that, at the very least, the tone of your writing will

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-56872880057934126792007-01-25T13:31:00.000-05:002007-01-25T13:35:01.288-05:00

Here are three more variables you face as a corporate writer:3. Your target audience.Let's say it's "employees." No matter how well you've defined this audience--in terms of gender, ethnicity, company division/department, location, etc.--it is constantly changing. People leave and new people enter. Usually these changes aren't something you have to concern yourself with, although you should be

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-48622667832441744442007-01-23T16:50:00.000-05:002007-01-23T16:55:14.791-05:00

Here are two of the variables you face as a writer.1. The story you want to tellEvery story is different. Before you say that's obvious, think about the cookie-cutter approach some corporate news release writers take to new product announcements. Or the same-same structure some employee publication editors use for all executive appointment stories. Boring? Yes.Since each product is different and

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-42277665350985521802007-01-18T13:32:00.000-05:002007-01-18T13:34:32.346-05:00

Recent posts have stressed the variety of headline and lead formats you have in your writer's arsenal to tell your story effectively. These are all things you can control. The flip side of this benefit is the variety of things you can't control. We'll use the label "variables," stressing that they're always a factor, even when--on the surface--things seem unchanged.Greek philosopher Heraclitus

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-28172317811502461822007-01-16T14:37:00.000-05:002007-01-16T14:42:10.014-05:00

No matter who your audience may be, no matter what your medium, there are two sets of questions you need to ask--and answer--before you put fingertips to keyboard.First, why are you writing this piece? What's your underlying message? What, specifically, are you trying to communicate (or, in the case of message themes, demonstrate). Whether your objective comes from a pre-approved plan, a manager

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-64135908864482902272007-01-11T15:38:00.000-05:002007-01-11T15:40:16.669-05:00

The question came in an email responding to my January 3 post (Write eye-grabbing headlines): "If, as you wrote back in May '06, the how-to is your candidate for best writing format, shouldn't it be the seventh headline style?"Good question. My answer:The how-to head is really one type of summary head--it summarizes the entire article that follows. That being said, I probably should have made a

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-89994794491897565072007-01-09T15:55:00.000-05:002007-01-09T16:08:48.163-05:00

Here's one way to build your headline writing skills. Take any article with a number of facets and look within it for prompts for each of the six head types.As an example, last month Investors Business Daily ran a self-help piece on why corporate professionals should master the art of office politics. The theme of the article was that you can be highly skilled, a willing worker and generally

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-69092841056451843232007-01-03T17:13:00.000-05:002007-01-03T17:17:24.279-05:00

The function of a headline is to capture eyeballs. Look at them as condensed leads and classify them the same way. There's one caveat: the lead and head should not be of the same type. Use a snap head for a question lead, a question head for a scenario lead, and so on. Mix, don't match.Some examples (two with their leads that help explain the heads):***Our AlcoholsAre Out of Sight!Have you

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1165535682932805122006-12-07T18:53:00.000-05:002006-12-07T18:54:42.943-05:00

Webwise, I'll be out of pocket (= not around) for a non-specific determinable future (= the next few days). We're reimplacing geographically (= moving house) and there's no readily available paradigm (= real way to know) when my telecommunications solutions (= broadband) company will delightfully exceed my expectations (= quickly) have me synergistically communicado (= back on line).A week and

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1164829796468079452006-11-29T14:43:00.000-05:002006-11-29T15:14:22.086-05:00

My last several posts have dealt with six types of story leads. In talking about them, I often use as an example the implement shown below:If you've watched Ninja movies you recognize this as a throwing-star--or shuriken in Japanese.It can be thrown in two ways--like a baseball or a Frisbee. Each of its six "blades" (on this model) is sharp enough to get the (not very nice) job done.What's its

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1163785113587561362006-11-17T12:22:00.000-05:002006-11-17T12:38:33.893-05:00

The contrast lead may be the hardest to practice. That's because you have to "invent" the contrast statement yourself--it may not even be suggested by your source material.Here's the opening of a Wall Street Journal article published earlier this week:If you're in your 20s, you could be missing out on what may be your best chance to kick-start your nest egg.With so many 20-somethings burdened by

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1162930170789906742006-11-07T15:03:00.000-05:002006-11-07T15:09:30.816-05:00

Two statements are the basic components of this technique with (usually) the second introducing the theme of your story. The examples below show that the contrast lead can contain other lead types as well (scenario, "if").Especially note the double contrast in the "Two million years ago" lead. Not only is this a time contrast, but the "mastodons, saber-tooth tigers and dinosaurs" are contrasted

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1162572210746036872006-11-03T11:40:00.000-05:002006-11-03T11:43:30.756-05:00

The question lead is probably the easiest to practice. Try these two approaches:1. Using AP-style or other types of leads in published stories, ask yourself who, what, when, where, why and how. Once you have a good answer, you have your question lead.Example, rewriting the paragraph immediately above:How do you turn other-style leads into question format?2. Again using other-style leads, look for

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1162061632706905862006-10-28T14:48:00.001-04:002006-10-28T14:53:52.706-04:00

One thing you'll have after asking a good question is his/her attention until the answer comes--and that may be at the end of your story. Of the examples below, note that the third combines the question with a scenario."What can I do?"If you ask that in regard to the upcoming elections, the answer is: plenty. An effective political campaign demands more work than even the most well-financed

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1161712665414000732006-10-24T13:47:00.000-04:002006-10-24T13:57:45.596-04:00

The easiest way to practice writing the "if" lead is to use it to rewrite other types of leads that begin newspaper or magazine articles.This lead, for example, begins a June Wall Street Journal article on genealogy web sites:Old family history records, from census information to draft cards, are now flooding the Internet thanks to new technology that makes it easier for companies to put fragile

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1161102781269729422006-10-17T12:29:00.000-04:002006-10-17T12:33:01.280-04:00

This technique--which says "if" something were the case, "then" something else would follow--is deceptively simple. Three examples:If the custom was to send greeting cards to companies, the mailbags at our XXX research and engineering affiliate would be extra heavy this month. The organization celebrates its 50th anniversary December 29.And, needless to say, these have been years of important

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1160686892068913152006-10-12T16:59:00.000-04:002006-10-12T17:01:32.076-04:00

Here's how to practice the snap lead (see previous post):Page through a magazine or newspaper. For each article that opens in AP- or scenario-style, look for a word, phrase, sentence or quote that, as is or with a little doctoring, would give the piece a snap start.Once you do this a few times, don't be surprised if the same story yields several possibilities.As your comfort level rises, you'll

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1160518043706329982006-10-10T18:05:00.000-04:002006-10-12T16:39:53.160-04:00

This can be a single word, phrase, question or quote. The purpose is to "snap" up the reader's attention. Curiosity is what you're mining here. Examples:Pick a numberNot just any number, but the combination of digits that represents your name or birth date. It could tell you something about your character and future, according to those who believe in numerology.***This won't work. It's too

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1160083455358634642006-10-05T17:21:00.000-04:002006-10-05T17:24:15.366-04:00

One way to practice writing the scenario or anecdotal lead (see previous post) is as follows:1. Take an article you've written where you either were on the scene covering it or where you have a lot of background detail.2. Find a "you are there" or "there they were" or "he/she did this" or a physical/mood-description slant to the piece.3. Use the slant to rewrite your story's opening.A second way,

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1159902892491700242006-10-03T15:09:00.000-04:002006-10-03T15:14:52.493-04:00

This style of lead paints a picture. It can be the physical setting in which your story takes place or a graphic description of an incident that establishes the theme of the entire piece. Excellent examples of this kind of treatment are found daily on the front page of The Wall Street Journal. Some others:Shivering in an early winter wind atop Garnet Mountain, in a forest near Lake George, New

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1159471911289793062006-09-28T15:27:00.000-04:002006-10-10T18:09:11.430-04:00

This is a summary of your entire story. It's widely known as the AP (for Associated Press) or "inverted pyramid" style lead, which was discussed in my May 29 post (The structural writing style). It tells, usually in general terms, the who, what, when, where and how of your story. You then go on to "flesh out" the details in order of importance. Three examples:The company's new logo, introduced

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1159296571434635692006-09-26T14:47:00.000-04:002006-09-26T14:49:31.456-04:00

The first words of your writing project will determine its readership. Fiction writers especially know that if their opening doesn't snag the editor they're submitting to, the editor will move on to the next story on his/her desk.It's no different with non-fiction--except that your work may in fact see the printed page. That won't get it read. A mind-grabbing lead will.My students learn how to

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1158866334318478602006-09-21T15:15:00.000-04:002006-09-21T15:18:54.326-04:00

(Note: I wrote this post originally for my jargon blog, but I figure it belongs here as well.)Some words and phrases I've seen recently:o Fast-paced team atmosphereo Interfacing with a variety of clientso Proactively envisioning communication needso Envisioning solutionso Strategic visiono Relationship buildingo Creative managemento Promoted, enhanced and improved client's visibilityo Developed

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1158694659714123402006-09-19T15:33:00.000-04:002006-09-19T15:37:39.730-04:00

Part 1 discussed the Passive Sentences score. The second statistic I recommend using with everything you write is the Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level.Rudolf Flesch first developed his readability tests in the late 1940s. One of them was modified in the 1970s by J. P. Kincaid. The formula for the score uses the lengths of words and sentences to determine ease of readability. The score itself indicates

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1158175149769708542006-09-13T15:05:00.000-04:002006-09-14T16:18:53.353-04:00

If Microsoft Word is your word processor, you probably use its spell-checker. There are two additional features I recommend you use with every document you write.From the tools menu, select Spelling & Grammar. You'll see the box below:At the bottom of the box, make sure that both Check grammar with spelling and Show readability statistics are checked. From now on, when you complete a document

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1158081022018192872006-09-12T12:57:00.000-04:002006-09-12T13:12:22.466-04:00

Two previous posts (those of August 17 and 22) dealt with using lists--in print and on the Web.Here's something to think about. What I've called the "best format there is"--the recipe or how-to format--is in reality a sequential list of steps. Okay, I admit that's not very profound, but think about this:If, as I claim, how-to pieces score higher in readership than other formats, wouldn't it make

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1157655022578962982006-09-07T14:45:00.000-04:002006-09-07T14:50:22.590-04:00

The gold goes to the "how-to" story format. The silver winner is the Q&A. And the winner of the bronze medal is (drum roll, please):The inquiring photographer.It's kind of a Q&A, except there's only one question asked, followed by the answers of several individuals along with their photos.Why I like it: In addition to its simplicity, you can select your responders to demonstrate your

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1157486290054876912006-09-05T15:55:00.000-04:002006-09-05T15:58:10.066-04:00

A good way to practice the Q&A is to "reformat" another document. One of the best I know is the letter to shareholders in a company annual report. This can be the report of your own company or any other corporation with a website (almost all medium-to-large company sites offer recent annual reports, most of them in an "investor" section.)For variety, do this with companies of various size in a

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1157061370176552332006-08-31T17:42:00.000-04:002006-08-31T17:56:10.190-04:00

For me, the "silver" or second best writing-format prize goes to the Q&A.Let's ask why.Question: Why use it? And why name it the second best format?Answer: First question first. The Q&A has everything going for it that quotes have--plus the fact that the whole piece (except for the intro paragraph) is one quote after another. As to why it's second best, it resembles the (best or "gold") how-to

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1156876896435931302006-08-29T14:38:00.000-04:002006-08-29T14:41:36.450-04:00

One path to good quote writing is to learn from fiction writers who are masters of dialogue.Hemmingway's short story The Killers is more than 90 percent talk. On the more recent scene, the dialogue in the novels of Elmore Leonard, Ed McBain and Robert B. Parker defines their characters and propels their plots as much as--if not more than--character action or author description.Use the pages of

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1156433434063823252006-08-24T11:25:00.000-04:002006-08-24T11:32:48.636-04:00

Quoting people in your article--especially if it's a long one--gives your reader a break in more ways than one.First, quotes usually are (or should be) short both in sentence and paragraph length.Second, the reader gets a break from the (probably) anonymous you talking and has a chance to hear from a real, identifiable person.Third, readers are attracted to quotation marks--it's a lot like

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1156268553004820882006-08-22T13:38:00.000-04:002006-08-22T13:51:48.830-04:00

Sooner or later, all of my writing students come around to the question: This stuff is great for print media, but what about our intranet? What about the Web?My answer: Do what you do in print, but tighten and then tighten again.Having just talked about using lists (see previous post), this seems a good time to deal with the needs of your computer-screen audiences. Here's what John Morkes and

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1155828079031226812006-08-17T11:16:00.000-04:002006-08-17T11:21:19.103-04:00

This blog is chock full of lists. Within its posts are lists of:- AP stylebook examples- steps in imitating your favorite writer- components of the recipe style- advantages of the how-to format- big and small words- types of words that are down-sizing candidates- what ancient Hindu sages would tell us about OM- key things about jargon- rules of, and words used in, Bullhockey Bingo- ways to keep

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1155664949650061222006-08-15T14:00:00.000-04:002006-08-15T14:02:29.663-04:00

Old habits die hard. Getting rid of "to be" and its variants in your writing isn't easy. (Did you catch that second last word?). Start by editing them out of your "final" copy, replacing them with active verbs.When you see (and feel) the improvement, you'll begin to leave them out naturally.Remember, "to be" has its place--in definitions.Email relory@aol.com[writing][communication] [editing] [

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1155225132857705942006-08-10T11:42:00.000-04:002006-08-10T11:52:12.873-04:00

To be or not to be? If that's the question--and if we're talking about good writing-- the answer is "not." Okay, make that "hardly ever."The problem is that is and are and their variations are verbs of stasis--they don't denote any action whatsoever. You want your verbs to (literally) move your reader forward. A sentence that reads like a math equation moves nowhere. Consider the following pairs

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1155057891287545732006-08-08T13:16:00.000-04:002006-08-08T13:24:51.303-04:00

In my July 20 post I wrote about my editor friend Jim who, upon taking the helm of an external corporate magazine, required that articles that used to run more than 2500 words be cut to a maximum length of 1300. Jim read the post and emailed the following:The article on your blog reminds me how several of our freelance writers reacted. Some thought it was a ploy to cutting the magazine's pay

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1154623948899906822006-08-03T12:48:00.000-04:002006-08-03T12:52:28.910-04:00

Strunk and White make no bones about it:"Write with nouns and verbs, not with adjectives and adverbs. The adjective hasn't been built that can pull a weak or inaccurate noun out of a tight place."While they allow for exceptions (and I break the "rule" a lot, myself), the problem with both parts of speech is that, for the most part, they lack focus--or, to use an adjective to describe them,

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1154457983835889912006-08-01T14:39:00.000-04:002006-08-01T14:46:23.863-04:00

Strunk's Rule 14 says it well: "The active voice is usually more direct and vigorous than the passive." I would replace "usually" with "almost always," but that's a small quibble.In the active voice, someone or something is doing, has done or will do something. In the passive voice, something is, has been or will be done--to or by whom or what, the reader is not always told. It's dull writing and

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1154020250065694942006-07-27T13:08:00.000-04:002006-07-27T13:10:50.073-04:00

Jim P. from Fort Worth, Texas, emails:Bravo for your stance on semicolons--scourges that went out of style about the time Charles Dickens turned in his pen. Delighted to see you "downsized" the semi to a comma when followed by and. That's how I learned it long ago in freshman English. Down with those transvestite hermaphrodites. Bless Kurt Vonnegut. The AP stylists be damned.I have the 1979

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1153938894376017162006-07-26T14:26:00.000-04:002006-07-26T14:34:54.376-04:00

The analysis program I use shows that the most popular posts on this blog (based on pages hit) have been those dealing with jargon.Rather than have that subject dominate this blog, I've started another. Its url is http://jargon-flogger.blogspot.com. Or you can click the Flaying the Jargon Wonks link in the sidebar.Please feel free to submit your favorite corporate (or other) jargonese to the new

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1153845479792905542006-07-25T12:31:00.000-04:002006-07-25T12:42:26.760-04:00

This one has four steps.One, buy same-day copies of The Wall Street Journal and Investor's Business Daily. Before looking at them, have a friend or colleague clip an article from each that deals with the same topic. He or she should start with a fully told (no jumps) one-paragraph story from IBD's page-one left-hand column and then find the corresponding WSJ piece. He or she gives you the Journal

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1153417613886816572006-07-20T13:40:00.000-04:002006-07-21T19:02:47.276-04:00

Jim is a friend of mine who, for several years, edited a top-quality external corporate magazine. When he came into the job, he made several changes. One of the most important, in his view, was to shorten the magazine's story length -- from an average of 2500 words to no more than 1300.Among the stable of frequent article contributors was a fellow I'll call Sam, a very good wordsmith. Jim was

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1153247589004297482006-07-18T14:16:00.000-04:002006-07-21T19:05:23.243-04:00

See Dick run.See Jane run.See Spot run.Three sentences of three one-syllable words each. Three paragraphs of one sentence each. They certainly follow the rule in bold type above. They also make for a boring read--unless, of course, the "reader" is still cutting his/her first baby teeth. And what's boring won't be read, no matter how "easy" it may be.Short sentences and paragraphs make for easier

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1152823518951151612006-07-13T16:40:00.000-04:002006-07-13T16:45:18.960-04:00

Get some "good" examples of jargon-laden text (any "new corporate initiative" announcement should do) and replace the jargon with simple terms. If you can't do it--because the jargon doesn't mean anything--then simply replace the whole text with, "I haven't the foggiest idea what I'm talking about here."Can't find any examples? Thank your lucky stars-and nominate your company for the World's Best

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1152646196942542312006-07-11T15:12:00.000-04:002006-07-11T16:13:49.563-04:00

One way we can hit back at the doublespeakers and jargoneers is through the "strategic" posting of humor on the bulletin board next to the office coffee maker or fax machine. Jargon-filled cartoons like those featuring Dilbert's pointy-headed boss and the one below from The Wall Street Journal can draw not only laughs but also pangs of self-recognition.On occasion a slice of fictional text can do

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1152488038703584862006-07-09T19:23:00.000-04:002006-07-11T15:47:49.673-04:00

I've gotten emails asking if the postings on this blog are based on the course I'm currently teaching and, if so, what's the rest of the course like. So as not to mess up the flow of this blog, I've posted a second that explains the course in detail. The link is at right, labeled Effective Communication Course.I thank the emailers for their interest and hope this second blog is helpful. (And, yes

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1152210914734848502006-07-06T14:29:00.000-04:002006-07-06T14:35:14.743-04:00

My May 18 post said that Strunk and White’s The Elements of Style was required reading before my professional writer students show up for their first course session. In addition to that book—and two course manuals—there’s one other book that’s assigned reading during the course.The book is Doublespeak, a 1989 work by William Lutz who, for my money, is the world-class-champion exposer of language

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1152028871816174882006-07-04T11:43:00.000-04:002006-07-04T12:08:25.050-04:00

Technical jargon is one thing—it does serve its purpose among those in the same technical field. General business jargon is quite another matter. Most of it is nauseating. One (real or imagined) way to combat it, straight from your friendly internet, is:Bullhockey BingoThe rules—1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. 5"x5" is a

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1151627515451390722006-06-29T20:22:00.000-04:002006-06-29T20:31:55.460-04:00

“Look here—a perfect harami on Microsoft two days ago.”“What about this dark cloud-cover on Ford?”“A real downer—like this IBM chart. A hammer and a hanging man the next day.”That’s normal for the conversations my friend Tom and I have every week when we meet for a diner breakfast. Anybody listening in would be totally mystified by what we were saying—unless he or she knew something about how

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1151431649430962032006-06-27T14:00:00.000-04:002006-06-28T13:03:28.723-04:00

This one may sound easier than it is:Take any example of multi-syllable writing (your office is no doubt full of them) and reduce its long words into short ones. That’s all. Don’t worry about any other “rules” of writing you’ve been taught or any other problems the document you're working with might have.If you need help in finding the right short words, my experience is that the thesaurus

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1150999032544237162006-06-22T13:52:00.000-04:002006-06-27T14:11:00.596-04:00

The Gospel according to St. John, Chapter I, verse 1: “In the beginning was the Word….”For centuries, Indian yogis have told us that the Word is the one appearing above. Faced with the Big Bang beginning-of-the-universe theory, Hindu sages of 2000 years ago would nod. They would tell us that:· The sound of that Bang was the same sound that still exists in the universe and all its parts.· If all

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1150834429955446152006-06-20T16:06:00.000-04:002006-06-20T16:13:49.966-04:00

Scientists and engineers probably remember London-born Peter Mark Roget (1799-1869) for his invention of the log-log slide rule. Most of the rest of us know him for his Thesaurus—that wonderful book that allowed us to translate most short, everyday words into synonyms that, in high school papers and college essays, allowed us to sound intelligent, academic, cultured and erudite (i.e., smart).Ah,

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1150399289783957032006-06-15T15:18:00.000-04:002006-06-15T15:21:29.793-04:00

Strunk repeated it three times: omit needless words. I normally repeat it every student session. Why do I insist—sometimes to the extent of boredom or exhaustion if not nausea—that there be “nothing extra” in a piece of writing?Because, to begin with, it’s a rule for excellence in any product or activity—at least, any I can think of.Adding, or leaving in, an extra anything produces results you

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1150219484790563482006-06-13T13:20:00.000-04:002006-06-13T13:26:33.616-04:00

For each how-to piece you wrote for Flex #2, come up with topics that would make legitimate sidebars. The goal is at least two for each how-to. No need to write them in full—just define the topic and sketch out a lead paragraph.Also, take a good look at some articles (how-to or other) you’ve written over the past month or so. After you’ve identified your main story, what things should have been

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1149784342635720372006-06-08T12:27:00.000-04:002006-06-11T15:53:24.176-04:00

I ended my May 31 post on the “how-to” format with a couple of question about “extra” stuff that shouldn’t be included in your main story. What if some of this stuff is really interesting? What if I really want to write about them? Good questions. But there’s only one good answer.If, for example, when writing How I get to work, you have a burning need to write about the dancing crossing guard you

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1149530568412878152006-06-05T13:59:00.000-04:002006-06-05T16:34:15.626-04:00

If, as I claimed in my previous post, the how-to format is the best there is, it makes sense to practice it.Try several subjects: framing a picture, polishing silver, taking a shower, sharpening an axe (safely), making coffee from whole beans (instant would be too simple) and—if you’re really on top of financial things—turning $350 into $6 million in the stock market. (Alternately, if you’re not

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1149082533294112982006-05-31T09:32:00.000-04:002006-05-31T09:35:33.306-04:00

The first writing assignment my students send me—prior to their first class session—is “How I get to work each morning.” They’re given that exact title and told to keep the piece under 300 words. The nasty part of this assignment is that they have in hand the precise format I’m looking for—days earlier they received a MapQuest or similar service email telling them “how to get” from their location

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1148924253672158042006-05-29T13:34:00.000-04:002006-05-29T13:37:33.683-04:00

This is the general form of your writing project—one assigned to you or one you choose yourself.Many forms of poetry have very strict structures. Some types of fiction do as well--writers of romance novels go outside their publisher’s “guidelines” at their peril.Non-fiction also has a number of formats. Most news releases, for example, are written in “AP style.” This is not all the stuff in their

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1148662681324214802006-05-26T12:49:00.000-04:002006-06-05T14:21:13.060-04:00

In my May 24 post, I recommended the technique of imitation to hone your writing style. I learned this ritual in a college creative writing course. It was the only technique the professor taught. During the semester we imitated Poe, Conrad, Hemmingway, Voltaire, Homer (the Greek, not the Simpson), Plato and some contemporary humorists. Normally, we could choose our own topics for the hand-in

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1148480552187941122006-05-24T10:09:00.000-04:002006-05-24T10:22:32.213-04:00

You hear a lot about this or that writer’s style, usually because they have developed a signature way of expressing themselves. Hemmingway, Faulkner, Joyce. Columnists Russell Baker, Art Buchwald, Erma Bombeck. Among more recent fiction writers: Elmore Leonard, Tom Robbins, Donald E. Westlake. Who are your favorites? I’ll bet you’ve said, several times, that you like their style.So how do you

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1148335623990603422006-05-22T17:54:00.000-04:002006-05-23T18:08:15.766-04:00

We often speak of writing “style,” which in reality is not one concept but four. In my May 18 post, I recommended Strunk and White’s The Elements of Style as a guide to general or “correct” writing style. That’s the first concept of “style.” The other three are:· Group or “our” style· Individual or “my” style· Structural styleGroup style is our subject today. We’ll talk about the others in the

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1147810861884505902006-05-18T16:18:00.000-04:002006-05-22T18:21:12.946-04:00

If you want to write “good,” you’re supposed to know certain rules of grammar—where to place commas, the agreement of nouns and verbs, the proper cases of pronouns. This is the “gut” stuff of English Composition 101 that, if you do enough of it wrong, labels you as illiterate.Check out the writing section of any good new or used book store, and you’ll see guides ranging from 300 pages upward that

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1147801830895385032006-05-16T13:48:00.000-04:002006-05-16T14:07:31.760-04:00

Bob Seger, in his song Lock and Load says it well: “Mediocrity is easy, the good things take time.”The time, of course, must be spent in practice. And more practice.The why of that is no mystery.Can a budding musician perform a multi-chord riff the first time he or she picks up a guitar?Can a new white belt judo trainee perform a perfect haraigoshi (sweeping hip throw) the first time he or she

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27999215.post-1147458331340205352006-05-11T14:20:00.000-04:002006-05-16T16:27:22.596-04:00

Hello and welcome! This web log is dedicated to the three words above. It’s primarily for those who earn their living writing (or editing the writing of others) and whose main goal is to communicate specific somethings.But, hold on. Doesn’t all writing communicate something? Well, it should. But we’ve all read stuff we can’t begin to understand—and sometimes our not understanding is the writer’s

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com